Em Colley Poetry
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Page 2...

With the pain the poems came


The rain in Spain
They say
Falls mostly on the plains

The pain inside spilled onto the page
Not staying contained
Like the rain, 
On the plains in Spain
Word after word 
As if it had it’s own life
The pain at times was quite rife
Not joyful and great
Like I’d like things to be
But there was a gift
I’m starting to see

I don’t know how I started this flood
Giving in, not fighting back
To the point of drawing blood

It’s not at all what I planned it to be
But tell me what is
I’m curious to know
And so… and so
In the spirit of sharing I’ll tell you that
What if sometimes you just fall flat

Flat on your face
Regardless of plans
Regardless of space
Regardless of people
Praying to whatever steeple
Regardless of plans

What if sometimes it just is
Painful. Hard. All a bit poo
And really nothing you can do.
To fight, claw back or choose to be
Sit there, being, under a tree
Tears falling
No way of knowing
When it ends.

Allowing. Being. Living
Fully feeling all ways of life
Not clinging to the old
Of how you think it should be, 
Of what you were told
Allowing what is to be true
Even if you feel so blue
Allowing feelings to pass
To observe, to endure
And some to enjoy

Being curious with every element of this human race
A race to where? 
The end of some place?
No race, no test
Just to be
Allowing, deeply feeling,
Using insight to see
What is
What is true
Different for me
Something else for you

So individual, this whole experience
But sharing together changes things
Makes you realise you’re not alone
Different from some, same as others
For me, I shared mostly with mothers

Because they’ve been there
They don’t stare
They talk and they chat
And quite often don’t bat
An eyelid at the confessions
With all, all the transgressions

I’m feeling the need to bring to a close
This latest poem, so all be told,
If you’re out there and hurting
Please talk, reach out and talk
For if nothing else, alone we don’t walk
And, as I’ve said before, the old is not working

The new, the together, the sense
Of community, that’s what I meant
That’s what we need
Whether it be small or big
Someone to sit, and be, and say
Tomorrow, my friend, it’s a whole new day.
But, importantly, it’s OK not to be OK.

It may not yet be different truth be told,
But there’s tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
So, sit with me, and please be bold
For as a wise man, way wiser than me,
Said of a bear who lived in a tree:
You’re braver than you believe,
Stronger than you seem and 
smarter than you think”
You never know until you try
And whilst it’s hard not to shy
Away from it all, it’s good to remember…

Being brave, when it is tough,
It’s sometimes, so often, more than enough.

Upside down and inside out



It seems the world has gone mad
Good, ugly and bad
All mixed together in a bag
Of upside down and inside out
It’s hard to know which has the biggest clout

“You should, why aren’t you
It’s for my granny, not for you
Now your children, how dare you
Be so selfish as to question
The science?

The science is settled you know.”
But how, how can it be so?

When has the science really ever
Been done, finished, all tied up neatly
I’ll tell you when, that’s never.

Never settled, always more
To find, to discover, to explore

Go, do what you feel is right
But no, not ever, not tonight
Don’t tell me what to think, 
Not to question, not to dare
Do not try to scare
Me with your ‘news’
sponsored by Bill
Seriously, so many are ill
From taking this pill
From a cure to fix all

All will not fix
Not today, not tomorrow
Not from a vial,
sadly, to my sorrow

Perhaps if we look inwards
whilst we are all bleeding
Somehow we can know the feeling
That we need to find
That we need to source,
Perhaps, simply, to play more sports

To move more, to sit less
Enough with the chips
Pass on the dip, crack on and eat cress
I’m only joking, I needed a rhyme
Just one last more, one more time

But seriously, health doesn’t come in a vial
If we think it does perhaps we’re in denial?
Take it if wanted, but don’t let that be
For there is more, if we want to see
How to be vibrant, loving and giving
How to move forwards, with health and joyful living

Go find your guru
It’s probably inside you
Do what you need
Connect to nature
For she’ll show you things
You’d never believe in a million years
So, now, are you all ears?

So much to find
So much to endure
Health isn’t a waistline
A walk, or a bore
It’s an eternal quest
To look after ourselves the best
And really, I do believe
You know the drill 
I think I can leave
The lecture
And instead it’ll be better
To go out there - go get her
Find for yourself

Health, it’s there, 
It’s yours for the taking
Go get it, seize with both hands
The best you can be
Get into the sea
Swim, dive, move, run
Whatever you do, 
Let it be fun

Because that’s how to fix it
That’s how to make it stick
Then learn to endure 
The boredom a routine 
May just secure

But get through the boredom
And honestly though
Things change and incredibly so
Perhaps the world doesn’t need to be mad
If we focus, allow, it’s not all bad
We can create change,
Take back our power
And, my friends,
Now is the hour.

Chips … by the sea


Chips by the sea
Feet in the sand
Cursor blinking
Brain thinking

Sandy sandpapered feet
Tired and a bit weary
Eyes, feeling it’s late and a little bleary
But what a good time
To be in the sun
Eat chips by the sea
Having a day of fun

Kids jumping waves
Watching how Brits behave
When by the sea
All feeling free

Is there anything better
Than to sit in the sand
In the sun
Eating chips by the sea
Having a day of fun?

​

Holiday
​

Just because you’re on holiday
Doesn’t make it all go away
Sometimes you wake feeling all flat
And it doesn’t mean that
You must ignore what you feel
What’s that kind of deal?

But sit and share
Without shame, 
without blame
Doesn’t have to be
Happy, happy, happy 
Everyday
And ignoring it doesn’t make it right
So listen in, it’ll be alright
‘A problem shared is a problem halved’
So the saying goes
The feeling somehow erodes
A little more with sharing
Having someone else caring

A compassionate ear
A good shoulder
On which to cry
To talk it over
And when you’re all spent,
ranting done, tears out
Somehow it makes more sense

Sharing is caring some say
And whilst it doesn’t make it go away
It’s good to talk
So many have said
My Pookybuttonhead

Ah that was just to make a rhyme
But I like the word
Even though it seems absurd
Sometimes that’s what we need
It’s easy to get sucked into the gloom
It’s tough out there
And not everyone cares
But there are many, many
Who want to help make it better

And I hear you, sometimes it’s best just to feel
And I agree
You can’t sweep it up, under the carpet
As if never there, just to discard it
But too, if we look to the joys
They will abound, we’ll see more
And enjoy 
The love and the promise
Of brighter times
So yes, it doesn’t go away
But changes perspective
Gives a different kind of day.

Everyone was young. Once


​When you don’t know what you’re going to get
It’s good to smile, judge kindly and not forget
That everyone was young. Once.
Even the buildings
With the paint peeling
Imagine how they might be feeling
Cracked, weary, worn,
Posters and artwork torn
Perhaps a tuck here, a touch up there
Could save them from feeling quite so bare

But that said, the ageing grandeur
There’s nothing quite like it…
There’s nothing quite like
The delight of a seaside hike
To a forgotten town
Famous in the 18th century
But abandoned in favour
Of somewhere shiny to savour
In Greece, Spain or Turkey

These towns have forgotten charms
Like so many of us
They could completely disarm
But we don’t allow it
We rush right through
Not seeing beyond, 
Taking time here is long overdue.

Feeling the sand between your toes
Is there another better pleasure?
Another way to measure
That being here, being present
Is sometimes the greatest way 
To walk this path with joy

Let’s down tools and take to the beach
To simple things, let’s look and be
Watch the boats
Bury the toes
Go see
The 28 ice cream flavours in the counter
So many choices, which flavour
To choose today?

The charm of a run down seaside town
May evade others but not me
I fall completely in love and want to see
Sights of days from long ago
Women with swimsuits up to their ears
And down to their knees
Bathing and laughing 
And joyfully capering
Up and down the beach

Look up and see the detail
There’s beauty everywhere
And if it’s like Blackpool
It’s bold and brash and they don’t care
A certain joy in knowing who they are
And being it, no hiding
It’s there for all to see
Kiss me quick hats, sticks of rocks
Some shaped like a willy 
The liberation of being silly
Not taking it all so seriously

For we’re here for a short time
A blink of an eye in the big scheme
What can we do to feel joy, dream
For one day we too shall look like these towns
Faded glory, less shiny, a bit tumble down
So laugh loud. Fall in love deep
Don’t let it pass by as if asleep

And when you don’t know what you’re going to get
It’s good to smile, judge kindly and not forget
That everyone was young. Once.


We were always going to die

​It currently feels to me
I don’t know about yous
That there’s a juggernaut
Running free on the loose. 

It’s enormous, it’s huge
It’s a giant machine
We’re tiny compared
Like insects on a screen

There’s less insects now too
Brings to mind
Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring
Published way back in ’62
Still so relevant here with our world view

“Have we fallen into a mesmerized state
that makes us accept as inevitable
that which is inferior or detrimental, 
as though having lost the will or the vision to demand that which is good?” 

Take a moment to muse 
What we can do, for I feel there’s a danger
When we feel disempowered,
When we make the other the stranger

“Life is a miracle beyond our comprehension, 
and we should reverence it
even where we have to struggle against it. . . .” 

Carson again, here with great wisdom
For do we reverence it now?
Or do we demand exploitation
For the latest iPhone, the latest Playstation?

The greed
The need
The wanting more, more, more
And yet, we were always going to die
How much more do we need to buy?

The beauty creams to defy ageing
The new clothes for the latest occasion
Another wise one once said 
“All the worlds a stage”
Which part do we choose
Where are we on the page?

The question is, how do we live?
What do we give
To others
To ourselves
How well do we know
Do we take the time
Or rush onwards denying the danger
Still ignoring the stranger?

I’ve thought for a time
We’re custodians here
To look after the land
Do I hear a cheer?
Surely gently living
With less taking than giving
Or at least more balance
With joy and with laughter
Not always working until exhaustion
And then collapsing after

Is it possible we’re so easily insulted
We’re not attached to the ground
Almost insulated
From being with nature
Rubber shoes not connected
To this amazing earth
How can we now get it
Back for us
For generations of beings
A reverence of nature
Do we listen to the warnings?

For we can keep poisoning away
Or stop and think
Perhaps another day
For, if we were always going to die
How about we live well
Reverence ourselves
Honour our part in this all
Not rush to exploit
Gain more and more mothballs

Keeping insects at bay
With things sat in storage
How about we explore locally
And all learn to forage
To live with the land 
Instead of against her
And do the same with ourselves
For what do we need?

Is it to be mesmerised by ‘news’ 
Of disaster everywhere
For it seems to me, watch it too much
And you can no longer care
And sometimes that seems
Like it destroys my dreams
Paralysed by fear
Disabled by panic
Then why wouldn’t you
Need more, buy more

It’s like a numbing
A dumbing us down
Overloaded with information
And it’s gone on forever
Whatever the weather

The Cold War
Missiles in Cuba
The World Wars
We’ll all die of Ebola
Y2K bugs
All the thugs
And whilst we were always going to die
Should we live in fear
Always cry
Ourselves to sleep
Or should we look to the stars
And think
Yes, yes, we’re going to die
But not today,
Then sigh
A long out breath
As now we all know
And our vagal nerve 
Will thank us now
And on relaxing our system
We can see sense
And feel our freedom
Which only ever comes from within

Really truly so
Then perhaps the fear machine
Which has gone on forever
And perhaps always will
Can start to affect us less
As we remember to dance more
To look at the stars
To marvel
To do what you can
With where you are here
Because yes, we were always going to die
I wonder if we’ve detached from that idea
And we try to remain
As long as we can
Instead of living in harmony with man-
Kind.
Mankind. Can we be kinder?
In harmony with others
Respecting the mothers
And the greatest mother of all
Our mother Earth
Who ultimately gave birth
To all of this
And so we thank her
And knowing we were always going to die
We can live in greater peace
With passion for ourselves
And our planet
​
With love and with joy
It’s great to be here
Feeling all that life brings
The sadness the pain
The feelings the shame
The rounded experiences
We can all have
They make us whole
Not more stuff to grab
So diving in now to more loving and sharing
Less ‘news’ and more forgiving
Of each other
And this ultimate mother
For we were always going to die
It’s how we live that’s the greatest question
Let’s make it our best one.

Swimming
​​

Swimming
Desperately clinging
To a sense of reality
That sometimes evades me

Merging, blending
With the river in all her moods
With all her views
Bleak, windy, rainy,
Sun infused, varying daily

Seeing the changes
Nothing takes hold
Nothing is new, nothing is old
Coming and going, 
Changing and being

Like emotions in life
No need for the strife
The struggle we, I cause
Seeking for a source

Of things to have reason
That’s not always the point
Live and live lightly
Not taking the slights
Not taking it personally

Letting it flow
Letting things go
And that is why you’ll find me
Swimming
Learning from the river 
Much wiser than me
Learning to let go
Learning to be

Finding a lost sense of harmony
And of course also the sea
Feeling the free
Sense of liberty
Of being with one
Much greater than me

Witnessing the changes
Without need to hold
Onto anything 
Letting them simply unfold
Letting it all be

It takes
me back
To my A level day
With songs on repeat
Can you guess them today?

“Here Comes The Sun”
And “Let It Be”
Remembering The Beatles
Remembering Me

Love is the answer


It’s the only one really
We can search and search
For something out there
But always come back overtime
To something in here

Sometimes it gets lost
Gives up the ghost
But if you’re quiet
I bet you can hear
A whisper, a small voice
Reminding you dear
That love is out there 
And, importantly, 
Love is in here

All the songs
All the hymns 
We’ve sung in school
Recorded from Top of the Pops
On a Friday night…
Aren’t just drawn from a pool
Of songs there for no reason
Just there for a season

The greats
And less than greats
All knew as they performed
Not all world weary worn
But vibrant and somewhere
Feeling the love

Sometimes it’s harder to hear
Something sets in and I think
There are just two main emotions here
Love and not love, some call it fear
A lack
Which feels to smack
Of shortage
Bring us outrage
When love is not here
I think it’s fear

We call it all names under the sun
Anger, disappointment, not having fun
But usually boils down to not feeling love
How about we remember the “dove from above”?
You might be too young for that cultural reference
Have a google if so, it might make you smile
Laugh and be amused for a while

When it feels like it’s absent what to do?
Well, I reckon we may need to join the queue
There’s much to learn, for us all to discover
One thing I think, we can think of a mother
With a young baby nestled in her arms
The world matters not, there’s only one thing here
The love of a mother and a baby just there

Or a dog and her puppies, so needing of her time
Snuggled in to her now - it’s feeding time!
Or a sheep in the field shouting “baa baa baa baaaaaa
I’ve lost you my mama you’ve gone so faaaaar”
However you summon your thoughts of love
I think practicing gently can be the way
To help us to focus, it helps me find mine

Fierce, protective not just pictures on cards
Defending their own like bodyguards
Fighting for much more than glory
Because love is a whole different story
It’s within us all if you just let it be
Flowing so beautifully free.

Perhaps with all the noise
Sometimes it’s hardest to hear
The love for ourselves
Or at least that’s my take,
It could be I’m making a big mistake
Maybe some quiet
Some slowing down
Could help us find our own reasons now

To love the all wrinkles
The silvery scars 
All the bumps and the blemishes
That tell their own stories
That make up our lives

Because then, when we truly see
The beauty we all have
I think it opens the love
Floodgates so to speak
Allowing us to feel fully 
Instead of hiding away 
Our crows feet
And start smiling
Our love light shining
For all to see

For all to share
And you know what’s great
When you open your love-gate
That others too
Realise their beauty 
See their scars as signposts 
Lessons
And stories
Not to be hidden,
Shut away 
But to honour
A whole new day.

With love x

Thanks so much for taking the time to be here and read :)

  • About my poems
  • The Books
  • The Poems
    • Poems (pg1)
    • Poems (pg2)
    • Poems (pg3)
    • Poems (pg4)
    • Poems (pg5)
    • Poems (pg6)
    • Poems (pg7)
    • Poems (pg8)
    • Poems (pg9)
    • Poems (pg10)
    • Poems (pg11)
    • Poems (pg12)
    • Poems (pg13)
  • Reader's thoughts
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