Letting it wash

Letting it go
Going with the flow

Sometimes it’s easier said than done
Especially when someone
Thinks they have to prod and prod
And frankly just won’t fuck off

On this I know I’m not alone
I’ve spoken to others on the phone
On messenger and the book of face
And whilst it’s certainly not ace
That it’s happening to anyone
It’s nice to know if it’s there for you too
You’re not alone
There’s others the same

And really it feels
Or at least for me
Like a playground
And I have no idea 
When the nonsense will stop
So it’s a good reminder
That it’s all about you
Developing coping skills
Resilience too

Not that you that caused it
Albeit I think it’s good to see
We all can take responsibility 
But sometimes too
They just have a problem with you
Nothing that you’ve done or can do

So learning to cope
Is a great lesson
To deal with it
See it as a blessing
An invitation
For further growth
Even if you’d like to
Wring their throat

It’s ok to witness
To notice
Ok to feel shitty
But pick yourself up
And on with the ditty…

Because seriously
Life is short
Whilst I think we ought
To be taught this in schools
Most of us were not

So, onwards my love
It’s worth noting
If we were voting 
For you
I’d be there with my card
Not thinking too hard
You’d have my vote

So breathing
Visualising
And realising
That all this will pass
It might not be today or tomorrow
But some day it’ll be gone
And you’ll be left
Not bereft
But with even more skills 
And happier days
Whatever they’re doing
You won’t be believing
How much you’ve grown

Now my invitation to you
Is to own it
Realise your amazingness
And let it shine
You goddess divine

Unsubscribe!

It feels like it’s my favourite word
I’m done with following the herd
Seriously - what does it bring to me?
A gazillion emails to delete every day
Won’t you all just go away?

Well now they will
One at a time
Disappearing gradually
A day at a time
One less here 
One less there

5 a day is my current aim
What will I gain?
More peace
More clarity
More space
More time

To spend doing things I want
Not being bugged by emails
From every joint
Every sales pitch
Every time that I bought
When I thought
That’s a good idea
OK, I’ll sign up

And now the reverse
Getting rid of the curse
Of constant contact
Enough
Away
I don’t want that

Relief
Unsubscribe
Find the tribe
But not on the ‘puter
I don’t need the router
I’m off to meet with a tree
Seeeee ya!

Predawn Swim
​

Predawn swimming
The chill on my bingo wings
Never quite going away
Must be around 12° today

Immersed in the water
Watching bats fly
As gradually the sky
Gets lighter and lighter

We start out with all black and white
Only just changing from the night
The birds with their chorus
Sing from trees all around us

Entering slowly, honouring the moment
Feeling the biting cold begin to change us
Inching forwards deeper and deeper
Giving yourself over to the river

Slowly, subtly seeing the changes
The sky lightens, blue enters
The colour ranges
Then purple, pink and red
As the sun raises his head

The heron takes flight and lands
Opposite us, and stands
On the river bank nearby
Watching and fishing as we go by

Homewards bound, to kids and jobs
But what a way to start the day off
Giggling, smiling, swimming together
And we’ll be back, whatever the weather

Strategies for anxiety
Or helping us feel more at ease

For anyone who knows me well
Knows homeopathy is something I love to do
Because it feels to help ease the swell
And tame the waves 
That anxiety creates

There is so much more that we can do
By ourselves, me and you
It may be running - ha I call it running 
But really my daughter can walk as fast
It’s nothing more than jogging slow
But it certainly helps my anxiety to go

To diminish gradually 
And feel more manageable 
I don’t want to do it when I start
Usually sunk
Into a funk
But making myself get out
Makes a huge difference

Mediating and as they say
If you haven’t time in the day
For 10 minutes sitting quietly
Then perhaps you should see
If there’s half an hour instead 
Do it straight after getting up
Or perhaps before bed

Or another I love is getting in water
Gradually, slowly lowering myself 
Into the cold - the river is my favourite
And I love to spot the heron, the kingfisher
And if you’re lucky - the otter

Crafting and creating is another idea
Or making things in the kitchen just here
“Is that Nigella
Or Deliciously Ella?”
‘No, just by me
It’s called stress relief’

We’ve all got different things we use
Different things that are our bag
For example, take my dad
For him it’s fettling with the car
There he gets into his state of flow

Or for my partner, down caves he goes
Or takes to the hills, backpack and tent
And camps somewhere without any rent 
Reading suits others
Catching up with a cuppa for some mothers

Or extreme sports
And don’t forget the square breathing
Are you getting the feeling 
there’s plenty of choice? 
Others sing, give voice to emotions 
Join choirs, create communities

I guess what I’m trying to say
Is sometimes anxiety is here to stay
At least for a while 
So learning to live together
Whilst doesn’t immediately make it all better
At least creates a bit of a truce

And whilst you allow it
Get to know it
You can learn how to ease things
And what you are needing
To help feel more centred

I’m a big fan of a strategy or two
If you get anxious
And need run to the loo
Try a power pose
Or have a short doze
(Perhaps heading first to bed
Not dozing there on the loo)

There’s lots to choose from
I hope you find one
That suits you well
And start to use it
When you’re under the spell
Of anxiety, feeling worried
Or feeling rushed and hurried
For no reason
Learning to help release it
Is one of the best things we can do

For it’s there to protect us
From tigers in jungles
Just the tigers are paper cut outs now
And we need to learn how
To calm our brain
Sort of to re-train 
Ourselves

Then we can flow with more ease
It’s not mental dis-ease
But there to save our lives
Just the lives have changed
And we can relax a little more
But it’s there to remind us
Keep us on our toes
So for me, making friends with it
And learning strategies that work for me
Help it to gently be released and go
​

Birthday queen
​

Birthday queen, so serene
How is it that adding the adjective ‘birthday’
To everything in the day
Changes things (or at least for me)
Makes you smile for a while?

Birthday breakfast
Well that’ll be cake
Or something else
You might wish to make

Followed by birthday brew
Doesn’t matter who makes it
Someone else or you

Birthday swimming
In birthday suit
That’s one on which 
You shouldn’t miss out

Birthday shopping
And I recommend
You add in the adjective
For whatever you spend

Could be the weekly shop
Or for jewellery
Out til you drop
Just use the description
And it feels a bit easier

Birthday brunch
Birthday lunch
Birthday dinner
See, you’re onto a winner

It adds a smile
To whatever you’re doing
That birthday feeling

I don’t think it has to be crazy
Flying high in clouds 
That are misty and hazy
There’s something magical 
Something special that it brings
The word ‘birthday’

Almost as if the world smiles on you
It was the only day
I would ever score a rounder at school
I know I was no way ‘cool’

But on that day 
It happened for several years
I started to see a pattern here
I could hit the ball

To be fair I have no idea
How I hit it at all
With doing PE 
Without glasses you see

And having vision like a bat
It was a miracle that day for me!
But still birthday luck 
I was happy to take it!

So now, if you can
Though I know everyone 
Doesn’t have happy memories 
Of that day or love it at all

I guess I’m quite lucky
I find joy in the small things
For me the word ‘birthday’ brings
Feeling happy, calm and serene
On that day I am birthday queen

So I exploit it
Doesn’t matter what it is
From making the dinner
To shopping for food
Everything’s a winner
It helps in changing my mood

A few years ago
To be accurate, three
I took upon myself, for me
To extend the birthday

A birthday year
Or actually 11 months
And I’ve a hunch
That a birthday extension
Creates many more an occasion
To use the adjective freely
I definitely recommend it!

And so, today
Birthday crown knocked from my head
I’ll not lament, instead
I shall relish the birthday extension
Keep on with that feeling
The birthday queening
A little bit longer

Sunrise

​Early morning
It’s my favourite part of the day
Some may say they’d rather have the sleep
But not me

For where else would you see
The world reflected, contained
Upside down in a bead of condensation
Clinging to the cold metal

The cloud inversion hanging 
In the valley catches my eye
Like clouds banished
fallen from the sky

Thistles, downy seeds ready
To fly in the wind like tiny fairies

And that moment where the sun crosses the horizon
Enters the visible part of the sky
Clouds primed
Iridescent by design 
Like strips of burning ribbon
They glisten

Ready to greet the sun
For night is over, for now all done

For many a relief
Breastfeeding mothers
The only one awake
On an entire housing estate 
Or that’s what I thought 
Back when that was me

Now, boobies all free
I can reflect on that time
I shared what was mine
And loved it
Though sometimes the nights

Went 
On 
Forever

Still, back to the sunrise
With this piece of prose
And whilst some happily doze
I’m impatient to be awake

To witness the sunrise again
Every piece of dew
Sparking like 
A fair trade diamond
But grasp it … 
And it’s gone

I love the noises
To hear the world waking up
The birds sing, chickens cluck
I hear the bypass
I could live without that

But it’s a sign 
This precious time
Isn’t altogether mine

I hope they are appreciating
As they drive to work
The magic of this time of day
For me it never goes away

And whether staying up all night
On Christmas night in Sydney
Or being at home, the delight
Of sunrise is one 
I’m always glad I’ve known

​It’s not my business

​It’s not my business
What you think of me
It’s not my business
What you see
When you look
Mockingly over at me

When you shout over
From your car 
Taking the piss from afar

It’s
Not 
My 
Business

If you mock and jeer
It’s not my business
And this phrase here
Is so helpful
To remember
To realise

Whilst you walk down the path
Camera phone over your shoulder
It’s not my business
Record me smiling
Walking and being
If that’s really your thing

When you clean your car 
And shout things at me
Sat in my garden
Drinking my tea
I can’t make you stop
I’ve tried every which way

But maybe not this one

When you do it I’ll say
To myself, in my head
“It’s not my business”
And if all of that makes you happy
Crack on, shout away

It’s a day to be alive

There are days when you just get by
Feel to just about survive
And those when you thrive

Sometimes this dance, this life is tough
And there are days you’ve had enough
Days when carrying on feels hard
And you just don’t want to

And there are those when it is so beautiful
It’s almost painful
Exquisite scenes
And it doesn’t mean

Every day will be perfect
But there are some you won’t forget
And some that will perhaps blur
Into the mists of time
That don’t feel so good

I’m learning how beautifully human
This is
And to feel fully
Passionately with every cell
When it feels like hell
Is damn hard

But the gift
The opposite
To feel vibrantly alive
On a day like today
Is so worth it